So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize