i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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