I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
