btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
