one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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