Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
