i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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