people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
