I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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