First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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