Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
