More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
