i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
