Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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