Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
