listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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