so explain again why im purple
no
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
