I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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