Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
