Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her vagine was all disorganized.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are two peas in an std pod
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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