honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
