You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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