the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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