we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
