there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Everything about him screamed your future.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
