did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
