i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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