She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Randomize
