i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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