its not stalking. its research.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
