he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
