Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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