any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
