I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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