Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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