Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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