idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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