But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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