so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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