yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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