I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
