The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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