just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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