no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
