is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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