I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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