i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
