So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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