garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
