i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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