Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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