We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
