Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
