You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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