is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
