okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
