I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
