direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
