the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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