So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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