you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So much rum. So many feels.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
